The Sandbox Writing Challenge this week asks us to reflect on  what makes us a survivor.

The majority of my posts here are primarily stories about how I have personally survived various obstacles, injuries or loss, but the idea of finding qualities that make one a survivor and another not is rather difficult for me.

If I really ponder it, I think it all comes down to choice and what you choose as something that can be overcome. What would be a normal Monday for me might send someone else to the nearest mental health clinic or ward for a “wee rest”, as my Mom used to put it when discussing her friends and their assorted nervous breakdowns.

As a child, I think my natural curiosity about what could happen tomorrow and my optimistic spirit enabled me to survive the dysfunctional environment I was raised in. I knew tomorrow was always a new day, with a fresh chance for things to be better than they were today. I still have that optimism, which is rather amazing, all things considered.


In my own very unhealthy codependency, I thrive on others need of me, so since the age of 23, I always had a babe or child, who I knew was counting on me to be OK and to carry on, which motivated me greatly. Following my accident, I kept the thought of my sons in my mind, in order to move through the pain of rehabilitation and the months of recovery, where there were certainly moments- days, even, where I thought I could no longer bear the pain or the effort of getting back to myself.

Moments where I would curse at myself ” Just shut that shit, down, girl- no time for a pity party today. Get up on your feet and take one step forward..just one step.” I would self motivate, and listen to that grumpy voice, the part of me that refused to give in. Is that the spirit within us? Our mothers? What is that voice? I am not entirely sure, but I have it and it has pushed me along, with no patience for excuses or whining.



In my middle years now ( still hella optimistic, ha!), as an empty nester, that curiosity is back and it is stronger than ever before. I have so many things left to do and people to help and love and perhaps even influence in some small way. I need to keep myself healthy so when grandchildren come for me, I am strong enough to carry them and mentally alert enough to savour every single moment with them. It must be like a do-over with your own children. A chance to make everything right with all love and no discipline!

Once again, I have rambled, and not answered the question, I’m afraid. I don’t know what that is inside of me that has made me get back up repeatedly and keep holding on.

Life is beautiful to me. I want to be here and I want to contribute good things. Pain and suffering are simply part of the journey, and I honestly would not change one thing that has happened to me. The struggle has made me who I am at my core and I am very thankful for my strength and resiliency.

There was simply no other choice for me but to survive.

It is who I am.




8 thoughts on “Survivor

  1. calensariel May 24, 2016 / 10:47 pm

    Such a good post, Shannon. So much candor and depth. That’s what I love about your writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. janebasilblog May 28, 2016 / 6:11 pm

    This is a great post. When I click onto your site it always takes me to the same page, so I’ve been thinking all this time that you never write any posts, dammit. I’d better catch up.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shannon May 28, 2016 / 6:12 pm

      I changed the format and maybe screwed something up. .haha! I think there might be a link of sorts at the top to new posts 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      • janebasilblog May 28, 2016 / 6:36 pm

        There is, but I didn’t notice it untill I loooked tonight 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Soul Gifts May 30, 2016 / 5:54 am

    Resilience, courage, grit, determination – sounds like you’ve got all of those in bucketsful 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. annacottage June 13, 2016 / 7:36 am

    Honesty and guts to survive and keep going. I am drawn to read more. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

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