I am a horrible patient and will freely admit that.
After my accident, I have avoided Drs and things related like the plague.
I finally found an awesome family doc last year who has gently encouraged me to do the routine testing that my age range is supposed to have done and I have complied with everything from EKGs , blood work, boob mashing, and this was my last hurdle.
Saved the best (read worst!)for last.
Dr. fancies himself quite the encourager and saw my acceptance and compliance with all the other stuff as maybe me being an easy mark .
He was wrong.
He had to do everything from quoting statistics to cajoling, to drawing pictures to begging to retreating and then circling back with more debating, all within a fifteen minute appointment.
I caved and saw his gastro guy and now have a date booked for the “July Double Whammy”, as I am now referring to it in my head. The specialist decided due to gluten intolerance showing on my lab work, he is gonna throw in an endoscopy at the same time.
Hence “July Double Whammy” or “Double Header.”
All the women I work with have suggested that the day before prep is the hardest part of it all, and I have been assured I will be receiving some great drugs, which will increase my chances of sleeping through most of it, if I’m lucky.
So, in preparation,(snort), I am trying to find things to make me laugh and remove the fear and anxiety.
Firstly, I will relate my last discussion regarding this with my family Dr in its entirety:
Dr: Your blood tests indicate slightly low iron.
Me : Slightlyyyyyy.
Me: Define normal.
Dr : Your tests indicated a possible intolerance to gluten
Me : Impossible. I have been mocking those folks for years!
Dr: Still possible, despite your mocking others less fortunate than yourself. . I would rest easier if you had the colonoscopy done.
Me: I’m sure you would. It’s not you having something jammed up your ass, now, is it?
Dr: Have I told you that you are one of my favourite patients I see and that you always make me laugh?
Me: Not fair. You know that means the world to me and it is playing dirty.
Dr: Please have the colonoscopy.
Me: OK..but you are breaking my heart. .or some other part of me that I will be needing.
Dr: I promise nothing will be broken on my watch.
Me : YOU are going to be there WATCHING???
Dr: laughing and using tissue to wipe tears away as he waves me out of his office….
If you haven’t read this yet, you really need to.
I love Dave Barry .
Domestic Diva also had me in tears from laughter.
Bottoms up, friends!