This week’s sandbox writing challenge asks how we respond to problems in our lives.
I had to think about this one for a few moments, as my response could have been many different things, and yet in reality it is very simplistic.
Growing up, my Mother always said to me ( nervous, hair-twisting, nail-biting mess that I was), ” There is no point at all in worrying about something you have no control over. If you can fix something, or change something, then do it, but if you have no control over something, let it go.”
I was brought up in a household that had 99 “problems” occurring every hour. But we never called them problems, we called them challenges. And that has made all the difference in my life.
As I grow older, I find myself with dwindling patience for people and their perception of what a problem is.
Rainy days during your vacation? Not a problem. Walk in the rain, bike in the rain, spend time enjoying local restaurants, have crazy sex all day in your hotel room, or catch up on some rest, your reading, or maybe get to know your spouse a bit better without the distractions of your daily life.
Frizzy hair? Not a problem. I have this issue and just live with it. I mean, really? Who cares how smooth my hair is looking on any given day? Has anyone EVER in your life thrown that one at you in the break room at work or at the mall? ” Jesus, Melinda! How do you face the WORLD with that bird’s nest on your head?”
When you start imagining ways in which you can find a work-around for your “challenges”, they quickly change from something worrisome to something rather interesting that you will feel just wonderful about once you get through them .
Who needs Batman when you are just out there being the boss of your own destiny and outcomes?
I know that sometimes there are people in my life(not family) that find me rather tactless, impatient and blunt when they express their frustrations with their endless “problems”. I am aware that all of us were moulded and shaped in very different ways and in very different households.
My upbringing was not conducive to the hothouse flower that needed constant attention and assistance at every turn. And while I am cognizant of the fact that my core beliefs established during that time were not all good ones to learn and adapt to, for the most part, they have served me well during the times in my life that I could have quite easily ordered a bullet sandwich for lunch.
I have the innate ability to see a challenge, and within five minutes, decide if I am going to be able to do something about it, or toss it away and forget about it.
I have suffered enough from anxiety, which the uninformed might call worrying, but is in fact, totally physical in its manifestation in my body, so I don’t include this in my rationale at all here. Even with this, I now have so many tools in my little toolbox that get me through episodes, that I can pretty much shut that shit down, too, within mere minutes.
Changing your way of thinking/processing problems or challenges is the first step in solving them or getting through them.
So, in closing, I am pleased to share with you all that I do not have any problems and am not foreseeing any in my future.